Journey to China for Bing

Home!

2006-03-16T05:47:00.000-08:00

All I wanted to do when I landed at home was get off the plane and kiss the ground. I refrained, though, lest someone mistake me for the Pope. ;-) Bing did very well on the plane ride, all things considered. He actually ran a fever on the first flight into Tokyo. After some medicine he felt much better. He slept pretty well from Japan to Minneapolis. I can't say the same for Mom and me, though. That is ONE long flight. Once we were officially in American and through immigrations and customs, the first thing we did was head to McDonalds! Even though China has a McD's (which we didn't eat this time), its just not the same as our version. Bing had a lemonade and fries. The fries were a hit. We we got home, Dad, Rick and the kids were all waiting for us with balloons and flowers. Everyone was a little shy at first, but that didn't last long. After dinner, bath, and stories, we got everyone tucked in bed. I'd say that for our first night home, everything went as smooth as can be expected. (Please keep the kids in your prayers for a quick bonding process!) Other than a severe case of jet-lag this morning, I feel pretty good. It's SO nice to have the family home with me today. They're entertaining Bing and allowing me to have a few minutes to myself here and there. I'll post more on and off as time permits. God Bless America!!!!

Last Photos from Tuesday

2006-03-14T06:32:00.000-08:00

Top photo is the tennis club near the hotel. Next photo is the park we went to most days. It's on the Pearl River. Our hotel - The White Swan - is in the bottom photo. If you stay at the hotel, as you come out and head right, Stella's shop is about 3-4 doors down on the same side of the street. It's about a 25 yard walk. Tell her we said hi! She's got a way with kids. :)

Our Last Day in China

2006-03-14T04:08:00.000-08:00

Something about knowing you're going home makes the last day away SO much better. I woke up feeling (a) elated because I am getting out of here to see my family and (b) also a little sad because Bing his leaving his birth country.....only possible because he was abandoned with little hope for a future. It's certainly a bittersweet time.

Despite the forecast, the weather turned out to be clear. Cold, but clear! We decided to really venture out today. Bing did so well for a whole hour! As you can see by the previous photos, we watched school students parade out for their daily exercise. Bing was captivated by this! Once they went inside, he played on the playground. After that we strolled around Shamian Island a little more and watch police recruits going through their drills. One was nice enough to take a picture with Bing Bing. There is also a church on Shamian Island, but the foreigners and locals cannot attend the same service. As you know, religion is tightly controlled by the gov't here.

We ended up looking at a water fountain. I told Bing it what it was called and he said, "watermelon!" He knows that word very well as he eats a ton of it at each meal. He's trying new English words every day. I'm very proud of him.

It was getting time to go home. We got very close to the hotel and Bing wanted to go to the park next door. I told him we could not because it was lunch time. He sat his little butt right down on the sidewalk and would NOT budge. It was pretty funny, although I did not let on. It took some convincing and some strong words, but he got up and came with me. He can be extremely stubborn when he wants his way. (another Universal Truth)

This afternoon we loaded up on the buses with all the other adoptive parents and went to the US Consulate downtown. Mom and I were so happy to be going someplace different! Lord have mercy, but we've been so cooped up here on Shamian Island. The Consulate bldg. has moved to downtown Guangzhou now. Downtown is very modern looking. And the Oath-Taking ceremony is really just a formality. We all raised our right hands and promised that all the info we gave them was true and that we'd take care of our kids. Bing was given his Chinese passport and visa which allows him to leave the country. Since both parents are not traveling to meet him, the US gov't doesn't give him citizenship right away. He's a Permanent Resident or something like that. There are some papers we have to file when we get home. Then he'll get his Citizenship papers. But legally, he's our son now....for better or for worse! I'm voting "for better!"

When we got got back to the hotel, we went next door to say goodbye to Stella and all the other shop girls. What a sweet group of young women! I will truly miss them. We exchanged addresses. I told Stella that if she ever gets to come to America to see her sister in Miami, we will come see her.

Dinner was good, but I am actually getting tired of the buffet and such fancy food. I could use some good old fashioned southern BBQ! Or grits..... Speaking of dinner, you should see this kid eat. Holy moly! He can put away some food! I'm going to have to get another job just to afford his groceries! Mom and I were long-finished when we was still packing it in. :)

He's had his bath and I decided to let him watch a few minutes of Chinese cartoons. It's got to be fun for him to hear his own language. Oh, I was able to get Disney, Looney Tunes and some other movies for him here. They're all dubbed in Chinese. When he's feeling frustrated with our language, I'll pop one in for him.

Time to finish packing. We've got to be up at 4:30 tomorrow. Our plane leaves at 8:30. Pray that our trip is easy and pray that Bing Bing does a lot of sleeping!!!!!!!!

It has been a hard trip but a rewarding trip. We've seen God's hand in all of this. It's so cool to be a part of this wonderful plan he has for Bing's life. One chapter has ended, and another one is just beginning for Bing Bing. Let's pray that it gets a little easier for all of us. :)
Can't wait to get home and see my family!
Love and hugs to all!

Photos from Tuesday (a little irony for you)

2006-03-14T03:34:00.000-08:00

Hanging out in the park

2006-03-14T03:20:00.000-08:00

School Children on Parade

2006-03-13T19:51:00.000-08:00

Random thoughts from today

2006-03-13T05:46:00.000-08:00

First, Bing Bing likes to talk on the phone. He assumes that anytime I pick up the phone (whether to call the front desk or mom or home) he will get to chat, too. So when I called to talk to all the kids and Rick tonight (Monday a.m. for them), Bing Bing had to say hello, too. About all he knows is "Ni Hao, ______" - but not bad for a kid who speaks little English. Evan and Jared were particularly good sports. Grant was so-so. He feels shy. But Charlotte....even in a state of semi-sleep STILL managed to carry on a short conversation with him. Lord only knows what the two of them spoke about.....her in English and him in Chinese.......and both of them acting like they understood each other. Too funny!

It was the same way the other night when he lost his tooth. We made a big fuss and called Mom in her room to share the news. He just gabbered away to her and she acted like she understood. It didn't occur to him that she had NO clue what he was saying. :)

We met my email buddy Nancy's daughter and hubby in the hotel today! Finally! Nancy is home with all the rest of their kids while Claudio and Sera came to get Esther. She is a three year old girl from Bing's orphanage. They've had her since yesterday. Sera is doing a wonderful job with Esther. Claudio looks a little shell-shocked, but very proud. I was able to give Sera several Chinese phrases to use to help Esther. I am going to get together with her tomorrow to pass on all I've learned from Cheng Mei. Isn't this like the blind leading the blind????

Tonight we read "Go, Dog, Go" for about the 100th time. He's pretty much got it memorized. He's a VERY smart kid. I mean emotionally, he's like a 4 yr old right now, but he's amazingly intelligent otherwise. Anyway, it was late, Mama was tired and I said no more books. He didn't like that and went into "whine, pout,and fuss mode." Yeah....like I'm impressed by THAT. Been there, done that with four other kids, buddy.....I don't scare easily! Rather than give in to the drama, I matter-of-factly kissed him goodnight and tucked him in. All the while he was NOT a happy camper. He "cried" - if you could call it that - himself to sleep all the while insisting (in Chinese) that he was NOT tired. It was actually pretty funny. So let's add that to my list of universal truths about kids......They will fight sleep until they pass out from exhaustion.

Oh....a Praise Report......Bing's aim in the toilet is almost perfect now! See? God DOES answer prayers....even the little ones. :)

Tomorrow we go for the oath-taking at the US Consulate. We promise to take care of him and not let him become a financial burden to society, etc, etc. It sounds more exciting than it really is. But it is an important part of the adoption process. After that...we're free to go home. Hooray. I was hoping Mom could get out one more day with Shelley but the weather is supposed to be bad again. Poor Mom. She's really keeping such a good attitude. She's got books to read and crosstitch to do. But it would have been better if she could have seen more of Guangzhou. I told her now that she's a Pro, she should get with some good friends and plan a REAL trip to China....the Great Wall, etc, etc. I want her to have more memories of China than this hotel and a challenging child. But I'm so glad she's here. I don't know what I would have done without her support! Besides, Bing Bing really loves her. They've formed quite an attachment. :)

Some things we still need to work on (and need prayer for): his social skills, his ability to transition from one activity or place to another without 'spazzing' , his language acquisition, his manners, his overall sense of peace and well being. Thanks to all of you who are sending encouraging words and prayers. Keep 'em coming!!!!!

Good night to all. One more day left in China!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Poodle-Girl and Chopstick-Boy on a Rainy Day

2006-03-13T04:20:00.000-08:00

Here are some photos from the hotel. We briefly visited Stella this morning, but other than that, we've stayed here. Thank God Bing has had a good day! Of course, it's all relative. I mean, he's still had a meltdown or two. Maybe my attitude is better because of all the prayers! God is surely holding onto me VERY tightly these days. Good thing, too, because otherwise I'd never be able to handle this. I keep remembering that when I am weak, He is strong!
Love to all,
Poodle-Girl :)
P.S. I will NEVER complain about my hair back at home again.

2006-03-13T03:55:00.001-08:00

Rainy Days and Mondays...

2006-03-13T03:55:00.000-08:00

A few photos from today. Here is Stella with the son of the owner of her shop. She is a dear, sweet young woman (and a you-know-what like we are! We enjoyed quietly talking about our mutual Friend. :) )
Hopefully some of you get what I'm talking about.

Eating Nuts

2006-03-13T00:34:00.000-08:00

It is 4:30 in the afternoon on Monday. Bing is sitting on my lap while I type this. He is feeding me nuts. It's one of those rare, quiet "bonding" moments that I savor. The weather has been nasty. A cold front blew in with very cold temps and a light drizzle all day. It's pretty gross outside. I'm really having to pull lots of stuff out of my "bag of tricks" today. Good thing we're leaving in 36 hours!!!!
More later when he goes to bed (which, at this point, is my favorite time of day!). :)

Random Thoughts on Monday morning

2006-03-12T15:04:00.000-08:00

Perhaps writing a blog at the end a the day is not always a good idea. On one hand, readers get the raw emotions of the moment; on the other hand, emotions are not always the reality of the situation. Let's try another, well-rested, point of view.

It's a little after 6am on Monday in China. Afer 8.5 hrs of sleep, I'm wide awake. Bing Bing is still sleeping (okay..."thank God!"). Sunday's blog is certainly true.....we're tired of being here under these circumstances, and Bing needs to get into a normal routine. But I will try to share some thoughts on yesterday (in NO particular order):

We try to go see Stella once or twice a day. Bing loves that. And I don't want to just come for a visit....the girl does need to make a living. So each time I stop in, I am careful to buy something. I'm getting my souvenir shopping done one small purchase at a time. After spending about 30 minutes there in the morning, a couple of the shop girls stepped outside with Bing and played the Chinese version of "hackey sack" with him. Instead of a bean bag to kick in a cirlce, it's like several huge washers stacked on top of each other with feathers on top. Hard to describe. EVERYone - young and old - plays this game. You see them standing around in circles on the sidewalks, in the parks, etc. It's a fun and healthy way to pass the time. Bing Bing fell down during one session and busted his elbow. We had to make a big fuss over his boo-boo. I took him upstairs for a band-aid. He thought my kissing his elbow was so funny. Throughout the day, he has required me to kiss it again and again. Like I said in an earlier post, he loves kisses.

In order to pass some time in the room (which is getting very old), he and I made a paperchain out of construction paper. I'm so glad I brought all the art supplies I got at my "Bing Shower." Thanks, girls! :) He really seemed to enjoy that, and it really ate up some time. We taped it up in the room for all to see. :)

I took him down for lunch (Mom was not hungry), and we shared a steak sandwhich and fries. I cut the sandwhich in half for him, but he didn't like the idea of the bread. So basically I took the meat out, cut it up and he ate it with chopsticks. He also wanted his fries cut up so he could use the chopsticks. Strange, because the other night he ate them with his fingers. Go figure.

My Dutch contact in Shenzhen (one of the women who works at the orphanage and sends me weekly emails) sent me an email wondering why we didn't show up on Thursday for our visit. I explained to her how Bing was doing and our decision to skp the trip. She told me to be on the look out for a few more Shenzhen adoptive families who are now staying in our hotel. I know of Claudio and Sera....they are from Florida and are here to get Esther (but I have yet to hook up with them) I have not run into any other Shenzhen families.

Meal time is our only true social time. There are many, many adoptive families, and it's Baby Central three times a day down there. Yesterday a man approached me and said "Go Seminoles" after seeing my shirt. :) Turns out they're from Florida and love the Noles! We've also met three families who adopted boys, too. But their boys are all under the age of four. Everyone else has baby girls. Some are back for their second or third adoption. They've brought their other Chinese children with them. Funny how "Americanized" the girls act. You can spot the American-raised girls in a heartbeat....they carry themselves with more confidence....even at a young age of seven or eight.

Last night at dinner we sat next to two families who are staying on our floor. One of the adoptive moms is of Chinese descent and speaks fluent Chinese. She came over and just chatted away with Bing. He loved that. She asked me if there was anything I wanted her to tell him. So, after getting my words, she translated to him that he will stay with us forever and we will care for him and never take him back. And was he okay with this? Did he understand this? He smiled and told her he already knew all that! (like, "Duh, Lady...). It was pretty funny. It's good to know they are nearby. She (Chris) told me to come get her anytime if I need help.

far Bing Bing has watched our home movie two times. He loves Cheng-mei and talks back to her when she asks him rhetorical questions on the video. It's pretty funny. I need to tape him watching some of it. He is very impressed that we have two stories. And he LOVES seeing all the kids! I need my kids to be on their best behavior when we get home so they can set a good example for Bing! (HINT!)

Today Shelley has to go as our agent to the US Consulate. I have to stay in the room between 9:30 and 10:30 in case she calls with any questions or problems with the paperwork. Later she'll go back to pick up his US passport, etc. Tomorrow we will go and do the formal (but short) swearing-in ceremony at the consulate.

Oh....I MUST mention the humidity again (I told you these were random thoughts). I've never had such a hard time with my hair before in my life. I feel like a French Poodle most days. Maybe it's more than the humidity. Maybe it's the water or the poor hairdryer they have. For one thing, the dryer is NOT anchored on the wall like most hotels. It's anchored in a low drawer and the cord is not tall enough for me. PLUS, it will only stay on if you hold down the button. So usually half-way through drying (and my hair takes forever as it is) my thumb cramps up from holding the button and my arm cramps up from stretching the cord taut for so long. At that point I usually give up and let it finish air drying. Hence, the French Poodle look I'm sporting.

Speaking of hair, Bing really needs a haircut. He's got this overgrown institutional buzz cut. Not very flattering, if you ask me. And he needs his finger and toe nails cut, too. I think today we'll try. I didn't want to try it too soon and freak him out (right, Jared?). He's dressed pretty sharp, if nothing else. The shoes, jeans, and FSU apparel we got from Jeremy fit to a T. (Thanks so much, guys!) Grandma and Papa also sent some clothes, too. Almost everything has fit! Between that and the hand-me-downs from Grant, Bing is looking more and more American each day! :) Honestly, though, if we were in America, he'd be in shorts in this weather. This kid sweats up a storm. I'm not kidding. I know he's got to be hot in long pants. I sure am. But it's not acceptable shorts-weather yet in this culture. There are "rules." And the last thing I want is some little old lady fussing at me that I'm a bad mother because my kid is not warm enough. Sheesh!

Last night I would have gladly chucked it all and left China and Bing behind. It's certainly a stressful time. But nothing that a day at the PVB spa can't cure. I see a massage in my future...... This morning, I have a little better perspective. Not perfect, but better. Bing Bing is a confused, scared kid who's just had his world turned upside down. If I were almost seven, I'd be acting the same way, too. I am trusting that God has this all figured out and will get us through this. Please keep praying for us. Your prayers are so vital to the success of this mission! (And any of my girlfriends who want to kidnap me and take me out when I get home are welcome to!)

One Day Closer to Home

2006-03-12T03:21:00.000-08:00

I don't think I can adequately explain the emotional and psychological burnout that I feel right now. It's not any one thing in particular but rather the sum of all total. There's no amount of preparation for this kind of challenge. You simply have to walk it out. You can read about it, attend classes, join support groups, but the reality of adopting an older, foreign child is vastly different than anything you can dream of. Don't get me wrong....we had NO illusions about what things would be like with Bing Bing. We knew it would not be easy. We knew to expect all these challenges. But still, for about $10 right now, I'd gladly jump on a plane and leave this all (and, yes, him) behind. Hmmm...sounds like I've had enough of being away from home, doesn't it?

The day has been very dreary and rainy. We were able to get out briefly with him today. He loves to go right nextdoor to one of the local shops. A very sweet sales girl, Stella, works there. She is so kind to him. He calls her "Jie Jie" which translates to big sister. It's a title of affection that the kids often call young women. She and the other Chinese sales girls have really taken to him. They play with him and visit with me. Stella helps explain to Bing Bing who I am and what's going on. Stella has an older sister (yes) who teaches physics at U. of Miami in Florida. I took some photos of Bing and Stella (on Sat.'s post) and will email them to her sister.

For lunch Bing and I went to the restaurant downstairs and shared a sandwich and fries. He ate them with his chopsticks. I had to take a picture. After lunch we went upstairs. He was clearly tired and needed a rest. He really dug his heals in about naptime and ended up crying himself to sleep. He must have been tired, though, because he slept for over two hours. Mom sat with him and read while I got out for awhile. I just needed a break.....even if it meant walking in rainy weather.

Dinner time presented itself with more challenges. Like last night, he would NOT go down to dinner. And when I got Shelley on the phone, Bing refused to speak to her OR listen to her. I ended up asking the floor attendant to help me. We had to bribe him with the promise of ice cream for dessert. Hey, whatever works.

He's had his bath and is ready for bed. I'm ready for a valium. :) I cannot WAIT to get home and get this kid into a somewhat normal routine. He's tired of being here (we are, too) and he desperately needs to play with kids his own age.

Please continue to pray for us. Please pray especially for my stamina and for Bing's little mind and heart to adjust.

Saturday

2006-03-11T03:56:00.000-08:00

Bing Bing continues to amaze us with his resiliency in this strange situation. Mom and I have both commented that we don't know how he hangs in there. We see our share of meltdowns each day, but we hang onto the hope that once home, Bing Bing will learn to trust that we're here for the long haul. He has NO concept of nuclear family nor permanence. What a hand he's been dealt!

Today went pretty well, all things considered. Mom went with Shelley to shop for jade in downtown Guangzhou. She came back with many beautiful treasures. I didn't try to go. I knew Bing Bing could not handle it. As it was, just 30 min. in the park was all he could take. Once he hits his stimulation limit, he gets a bit stubborn and his "listening ears" go out the door. It's all due to the communication problem. I breaks my heart that I can't do a better job of explaining what is happening. But even when Shelley helps me, I wonder if he truly gets it. Only time and experience in America will teach him.

Tonight, when it was time for dinner, he put up a huge fuss. Absolutely would NOT go downstairs with me to meet mom. And this was not good because I was hungry! He totally understood that it was dinner time. We've done this everynight since Tuesday. It got so bad that I had the choice of either sitting down and crying OR calling Shelley on the phone for help. I decided that calling Shelley was the better choice. Anyway, Shelley was able to figure out that he didn't want to go down because he was not hungry. She helped me explain that Mama was very hungry, and that if he didn't want to eat, that was fine. Once she explained that, he was perfectly willing to come downstairs. I knew he was hungry....and of course, once he saw the food, he ate like a pig.

God will get us throught this. I am counting on his grace to keep me focused. I've felt like jumping ship once or twice, but Mom might kill me if I flew home without her or Bing. :) I miss my family and am getting a little (okay, very) bored with so little to do each day. I'm so happy to have such terrific memories of our first trip here. It makes this trip not seem so tough. I'm sure Bing Bing is getting bored, too. He must miss having other little boys to play with. Mom's are only fun for so long when you're 6!

Love to all!!

Saturday

2006-03-11T03:41:00.000-08:00

Bing Lost a Tooth!

2006-03-11T01:43:00.000-08:00

Bing Bing lost a tooth Friday night! I didn't even know it was loose. He was so matter-of-fact about pulling it. Not like SOME kids I know.....! We skipped the Tooth Fairy ritual. I don't even have words to explain THAT concept. WE'll wait til he learns better English or I learn better Chinese! I'll post later about all we've done on Saturday (today). Right now, we're off to dinner! :)

Friday in Guangzhou

2006-03-10T03:38:00.000-08:00

We're just finishing our Friday here in Guangzhou. I'm very happy to report that today has been a super-duper-good day for Bing! We spent a short time in the park (30 minutes). Just enough time for him to play ball with me without getting overwhelmed and out of control. It was good to leave the park on a happy note. We stopped at the 7-11 and I got him the Chinese version of cup-of-noodles. It's like ours only with lots of strange things in it. :) I fixed it for him in the room, and after he ate, he did arts and crafts. He is creating quite a masterpiece for me.

Bing Bing took a very short nap because we had to meet Shelley downstairs for his medical exam. This is a necessary step before the US Consulate appt. He totally charmed all the doctors and nurses. The doctor pictured above made my day when he thought I was "maybe" 30 years old. I would have kissed him, but I don't think that's cool here. He further proceeded to score points when he assumed my mom was my older sister. He's smooth, isn't he? ;-)

The medical exam went fine. It's pretty routine. I saw the room where they examined Charlotte three years ago. It brought back very, very happy memories of being here with Rick and Linda and all our wonderful travel buddies. (everything smells the same in China, guys) We walked back to the room with Shelley so she and I could fill out all the mountains of paperwork for the consulate appointment next week. I've still got several papers to finish tonight. Good grief! Why don't they just ask for a sample of my tissue and be done with it!

A few random thoughts: Bing was quietly singing "Jingle Bells" in Chinese earlier. And then he began to sing the "Do Re Mi" scale, too. He didn't know I was listening. It was cute. Oh, I let him watch a little TV today while I did paperwork. Looney Tunes in Chinese is just NOT as funny. There's something lost in the translation, I'm sure. Bing likes ketchup....and lots of it. I got French Fries with my sandwich tonight. Those were a big hit! He's also discovered kisses. It's not a big thing with Chinese parents. But, oh, does Bing like kisses. That's A-Okay by his new Mommy!

We ate dinner downstairs, and he started getting silly just as we were paying our bill. He had that "I'm exhausted and getting wild" look in his eyes. Sure enough just as we were leaving the hotel restaurant, he had a minor meltdown. Not screaming or anything, more like swinging from the rafters.

So he's had a bath and is much more calm. All in all, I'd say today was a big improvement. I know things are not perfect yet. We may have more tough days, but God will get us through. One day at a time.....just like the hymn!

2006-03-10T01:54:00.000-08:00

These are photos from Thursday in China. After Bing's nap, we tried to take him to the park nearby, but it was too much for him. After 20 minutes, he was out of control due to overstimulation. Remember, he's spent his whole life very sheltered within the compound of his orphanage. He has gotten an occassional field trip out, but not much. Even his school is inside the orphanage.

Once I took him back the hotel, cooled him off and fed him a snack, he was a new kid. Very calm, very sweet. He did art and crafts for two hours while I read. He's amazingly creative! We'll try an excursion to the park again tomorrow. How else will he get used to it, right?

This too shall pass...

2006-03-08T21:10:00.000-08:00

I'm not even sure if I have the words to describe the rollercoaster of emotions for these last 24 hours. Let's see....Shelly, our guide, came to spend some time with us yesterday around 11am. One of the first things she did for me was to explain to Bing about his lack of aim in the toilet. The Western toilet is all new to him. I'm lucky he's doing it as well as he is! He's certainly trying, so I'll give him credit for that.

We walked around Shamian Island for awhile. It's a very pedestrian area....a lot like walking around at Ft. George Street in St. Augustine. We ate a very tasty traditional lunch after that. It took longer than it should have, but it was worth the wait. Bing can pack away some food! Right about the time lunch was getting over, my motherly instinct told me that Bing had had enough stimulation for the day. But Shelly had already promised to take us to the Cheng Family Tombs (also called the Guangzhou Folk Art Museum...we visited there last time with Charlotte). I didn't want Mom to have come all this way and not seen anything good. So despite the warning in my heart, I climbed into the taxi with Bing, Mom and Shelly. Oh, and did I mention I was fighting a migraine by then? My initial dose of Maxault was not doing the trick. Not good!

Between my migraine, the fumes from such congested traffic, and Bing's growing unrest, things were quickly going downhill. This excursion was a mistake! Long story short, no sooner had we gotten in than Bing started getting out of control. He was a wild man.....couldn't concentrate, didn't want to mind me, just totally overstimulated and exhausted. Seeing this behavior and fighting a migraine pushed me to tears. Luckily, I contained myself and just told Mom that we needed to leave asap! So poor Mom got to see about 15 minutes of the place. That was it. But she was a trouper and didn't complain a bit!

I managed - with lots of gentle persuasion - to get Bing into bed for a nap. He fought me for about 10 seconds and then was out like a light. Time for MY meltdown! Nothing like a hot shower and a good cry to cleanse the system. :) It was one of those, "oh my God, what have we gotten ourselves into?" moments. I spent a long time just praying and asking God to help us get through this tough adjustment. I mean, we were intellectually prepared for this fallout, but to acutally walk it out is another matter. As always, the Lord came through for me. Some reassuring prayers from home together with a soothing phone call from Rick got me down off the proverbial ledge.

Bing took a three hour nap. He woke up such a happier kid! I took him downstairs for dinner, and he behaved so well. He was charming and silly and all the things little boys can be. It gave me hope that we can get through this. Rick, Mom and I decided that from here on out, it's going to be "baby steps" for him as far as going out goes. As Rick told me, "keep him fed and watered, keep him rested, and lay low!" Mom said she's not here to be a tourist but to support me. I was appreciative of that attitude. Now I don't have to worry as to whether or not she's getting out to see things.

It was a tough call, but after talking with my adoption case worker last night, I decided that going to visit his orphanage today would be a mistake. First of all, it's four hours, round trip. Second of all, Bing is too confused and doesn't know if he's coming or going. To take him back for a visit might be setting us all up for failure. What if he freaks out and won't leave? After all, it's the only permanent home he's really known. As much as I wanted to see where he grew up, I'm so glad we made that choice. (I'm sorry, Nancy, that I won't be able to send pictures of Esther to you today. Hang in there....you'll see her next week!)

So, here we are today. It's Thursday afternoon in China and Bing is napping. He's snoring. ;-)
We started off the morning with room service. A) it's cheap, and B) I didn't feeling like rushing down to the buffet. Mom and I had eggs and hashbrowns, and Bing had traditional Congee. It's a rice gruel, like oatmeal, with all kinds of weird stuff in it. I believe I saw some snails, mushrooms and pork. You can get it plain or just with eggs mixed in. But whatever was in it, he ate every bite! No thanks, none for me!

Later we strolled to a nearby park. We took some bubbles. Bing thought that was sooo cool! It didn't take him long to figure out how to dip the wand in the bubble solution and blow. He gathered quite a crowd of curious Chinese people. I guess this is not something they see very often. Both the bubbles AND the caucasian woman with the older Chinese son....

In this park - which is right on the Pearl River - there were people doing all kings of things - Tai Chi, ballroom dancing lessons, "hackey sack" and so on. Because most people live in small apartments with not a lot of luxuries, everyone comes outside to socialize. I love that aspect of this culture. It's like when our power goes out and all the neighbors finally get out and visit, you know? Anyway, the people here are very friendly and eager to "chat." Between my basic Chinese and their limited English, it's pretty funny. Oh, I almost forgot, there was a tiny little amusement part (I mean tiny) with a train ride, etc. It looked like it was at least 30 years old. And the music it played as the kids went around was Christmas carols! Bing was insistent that he get to ride. And despite the fact that he was getting a little wound up, I didn't have the heart to deny him. All in all, it was about a three minute ride. But the smile on his face was priceless. I only regret that I didn't have my camera. (I know, bad mother!)

We got Bing a plate of noodles and beef at an outdoor cafe. Once again, he polished it off. Right about that time we began to see that overstimulated, exhauted look in his eyes. I quickly paid and we got him back to the hotel. By then he was REALLY tired and fussy. Hmmmm, reminds me of some other American kids I know. ;-) But the most heartbreaking time was when I tried to get him to nap. It took 20 minutes of gentle coaxing. By then he was crying. I knew he had had enough of us and wanted to go home. His home...the orphanage. He kept referencing "jia" which is family or home. Thanks for all the fun, Lady, but take me back! Can you imagine what his poor little brain must be going through? And the worst part is that he can't really communicate how he feels. I understand a large bit of what he says, but not all.

Anyway, I continued to soothe him as best I could. I almost wept for him. It was really tough to watch him grieving like this. It's part of the process, but hard nonetheless. I began to quietly pray over him and he let me rub his back a little. Finally...sleep! He needs that more than anything.

From all the encouragement I've gotten from other adoptive parents in this situation, I know we will survive. It's just something that only time can remedy. We will continue to trust in God's good plan for our family and his peace over us all.

Until next time.....

One more truth...

2006-03-07T18:30:00.000-08:00

I posted earlier about "universal truths" among boys. Only I forgot the most important one of all: boys, no matter where they live or what language they speak, have THE WORST "aim" in the world! It's like being home!! (sorry guys)

Shelly, our guide, is due here in a little while. I can't wait to have her translate the idea of "keep it in the toilet!" ha ha ha

Breakfast this morning was a hit. Bing is all about those buffets. :) I've never seen a kid eat this much before. Mom and I were long-finished and Bing was still eating. And he was fascinated with all the Chinese babies around us. There were adoptive families all over the place. I easily counted forty families at breakfast.

Well, I've promised Bing he can watch a Mickey Mouse DVD. He's chomping at the bit to see it. Mickey Mouse is also very universal. That's why I made sure I wore my Mickey shirt for Gotcha Day. How can you not like someone who wears Mickey, right?

That's all for now! Love and hugs to my family back home!

our first night

2006-03-07T14:00:00.000-08:00

It's about 6am in China on Wed. morning. We've had a good night sleep, although Bing is still out like a light. I had to wake him up around midnight to give him more Benedryl. He's got that awful post-nasal drip that makes kids cough while they're sleeping. Poor little guy. I wish I had brought more Benedryl and some Delsym cough medicine. So far I haven't found any here.

After his two hour nap yesterday, we went to a park nearby which he loved! We had a good time just strolling around. We ate dinner in the hotel again just to keep it simple. ONce again, the buffet was a huge hit. But right about now, Mom and I could use some Burger King! How much fancy Chinese food can one eat?

He had a blast in his bath last night. I think it may have been his first realy tub bath. I brought toys for him to play with. It was hard to get him out. After brushing teeth (for which he needs lessons.....I can already see a rotting molar in his mouth), and some stories, he went to sleep. I was right behind him at 9:30. What a day for us all!

On a quick note, I've found some universal truths about boys no matter where they live: they like pushing the buttons on the elevator, they have stinky gas, they'd rather not wash their hands and brush their teeth, they are loud and silly, they like dessert. Sometimes I feel like I'm looking at my other boys when I watch Bing. Lord help us all! :)

Gotcha Day!

2006-03-06T22:29:00.000-08:00

Today was one of those days that will live in my mind forever. Today we met Bing Bing! After a little misunderstanding about the currency needed to pay for the legal proceedings (the Guangdong Civil Affairs office prefers their legal fees to be paid in RMB instead of US dollars. News to me!), we made it to the Civil Affairs office, and within minutes they told us he was already waiting for us! No time to even get nervous! Just enough time to show Mom (again) how to work the video camera. It was a very surreal moment, to say the least.

So in walked Bing Bing with a timid smile on his face. He was wearing rather old and tattered clothing, but otherwise seemed to be very well cared-for. He was with Carole - one of his Chinese nannies/teachers. I was quite tongue tied. All of my Chinese went right out the door! Cheng Mei (my tutor) would have been very amused. :)

We sat and got to know each other a bit. I asked him if he was nervous and he said yes (through our translator). I told him it was okay because I was too! His nanny told me he hardly slept last night (which explains the EXCELLENT nap he's taking right now). Thanks to Aunt Lisa, I presented him with an wonderful new backpack and Mickey Mouse Pez dispenser! Candy is a univeral language among children. :) It was instant bonding after that! I gave him a stuffed animal - a mother dog with her puppy attached. I told him (in Chinese!) that this was like Mama and Bing Bing. He liked that. It has not left his side since.

I brought him a new photo album and showed him our house (jia), Daddy (Ba Ba), Evan (da ge), Jared (er ge), and Grant (san ge) and Charlotte (Mei Mei). By then he was smiling quite broadly. After that, Mom entertained him with coloring and some books while I filled out paperwork. We had a total of winterviews in which I had to swear that we would care for and love him forever. The notary (their equiv. of a judge) signed all the papers and declared us a family! The whole process took about two hours. After a quick stop at the police station (not sure about that) we got our little red folder (some of you will know what that is) and that was that! Oh, I should mention that by this time, Bing was holding my hand and had already sat on my lap. I think he likes having a mom. :)

Shelley, our terrific guide and translator, came back to the room with us to help with the transition. I didn't was Bing to think we live at the hotel. He's never seen a hotel before. I helped him try on some new clothes from Grandma Maurisak and the "new" shoes from Jeremy Thompson (which fit!). It was good to get him out of those layers of old clothes. His poor little feet stunk! I'm lookin forward to bathtime. Anyway, Bing was so excited to put on the new clothes. He made sure everyone around knew they were his new clothes.

We had Shelley and our driver for lunch at the hotel after that. Bing Bing ate like a pig! I thought he was going to pop! You should have seen his eyes when he saw all that food and found out you could go back again and again. It was both funny and heartbreaking at the same time.
After a full belly and a benedryl (he's got the sniffles and a mild cough), he's been asleep for an hour now. It's been an exhausting day for all of us. Happy, but exhausting, nonetheless.

After naptime, we're going to go out and take a walk. Shamain Island is so pretty with so much to see and do. Bing Bing will like the park and playground nearby, I'm sure.

All in all, it's been quite a day. I wouldn't want to put myself through this emotional rollercoaster EVERYday, but for the most part, it was very rewarding. I'm glad our family was allowed the privilege of raising this unique child of God! I think we're all in for an adventure in the days and months ahead. Bing Bing is happy, outgoing and supremely thrilled about having a new mama!

Can't wait to get home and introduce him to Daddy, Evan, Jared, Grant and Charlotte! You're going to love this little guy!

2006-03-06T04:17:00.000-08:00

It's nice to know I can get my photos loaded now! I was a little panicky that things weren't working properly, but as you can see....we've got images! Don't Mom and I look perky and excited in the first photo? That was at the airport Saturday morning right before take-off. Yes, well, you should have seen us 26 hours later. That would have been quite a "before and after" photo. Good thing we didn't run into anyone we knew. It's hard to be perky when you're exhausted.

Our rooms are very nice. A little on the smaller side, but comfortable nonetheless. We have a lovely view of the Pearl River. Too bad it's been foggy all day. The humidity is unbelieveable! My hair went right to "frizz" mode in the first five minutes of being here. You can just forget about blow drying your hair straight. It aint gonna happen!

It's Adoption Heaven around this hotel. This is one of THE most popular hotels for adoptive parents. Everyone ends up in Guangzhou before they leave China. This city has the US Consulate. We all have to process out before taking our children back the the US. The hotel is crawling with new families. :) The parents all have that "deer in the headlights" look. It's sort of a cross between thrilled and stunned. Boy, does THAT bring back memories. All we've seen so far are newly adopted baby girls. Bing will be the token boy around here. Wonder what he'll think about that? (It's a good thing Charlotte's not here. She was quite insistent that I bring home Bing AND a new mei-mei for her. She'd see these babies and think she could have one.)

We ate at the hotel's restaurant tonight. It was a very nice buffet. We had to come all the way to China to celebrate "Italian Night." The irony was not lost on us. Of course, their version of Italian Night was a little different. I actually didn't see too many Italian dishes. Lots of fish heads and fish tails, but not much Italian food. The waitresses did have on cute Italian costumes and the tables were set with Italian-looking tablecloths. That's got to count for something. :)

Tonight I'm getting ready for our appointment tomorrow morning at the Civil Affairs office. Shelly, our local guide, will pick us up at 8:30. I wonder if Bing Bing is as nervous as I am? I'll bet not! There are moments when I stop and suddenly realize that in less than 24 hours, we'll have a new child. I sure pray that God knows what He's doing (of course He does!). It just seems so surreal to me. After all this waiting and imagining.....it's finally here. Our family - as we know it - will change forever! What a blessing to be able to bring Bing into our hearts and home! :)

Tomorrow is all about Bing Bing, so I'll post again when the time is right. In the meantime, keep us in your prayers for a smooth meeting and uneventful legal proceedings. Hugs to all - especially Rick and the kids!

We're Here!

2006-03-05T18:48:00.000-08:00

It's around 11:00 a.m. here in Guangzhou on Monday morning. For the rest of you, it's late Sunday night. Needless to say, our bodies don't know if they're coming or going yet. Mom and I had an uneventful trip here. Grabbing sleep on the planes was the hardest. About half way through the 12 1/2 hr flight from Detroit to Tokyo, we were wondering why we didn't splurge on business class! Those people up front looked so much more comfortable than we were. But we made it here, and alls well that ends well, right?

Our Chinese guide is Shelly. She seems to be a delightful person and very up-to-speed on the adoption process. This is her full time job. She met us at the airport with a driver and after a 45 minute ride to the White Swan, got us all tucked in for the night. The rooms here are very nice, but the mattresses are rock hard. I got housekeeping to bring me some extra padding, so hopefully tonight will be better.

Mom seems to be taking to China quite well. Of course, her only exposure so far has been the bank next door and the breakfast buffet. :) I just left her in her room watching college basketball on ESPN. We're very glad to have that channel here! We will meet up in a little while to find the 7-11. We'll stock up on bottled water and anything else we may need.

Tomorrow we meet Bing Bing! Our appointment is around 9:00 a.m. China-time. For those of you back home, that's 8:00 Monday night. I hope to be able to post pictures by then. In our haste to get me packed and ready, we forgot to put the camera software on the laptop. :( I've got to go online to the Cannon website and see if I can do it that way. Otherwise, I can take lots of wonderful pictures, but can't load them on the laptop for this blog! :(

I miss my family! Lots of kisses and hugs and love to Jared, Evan, Charlotte and Grant....and most of all Rick!

Remembering Chinese New Year

2006-02-28T13:27:00.000-08:00

Thought I'd post a photo from our recent FCC CNY celebration. Are we cute or what? ;-) Wonder what Bing will think of our large group: he'll be one of the few token males among ALL those gorgeous Chinese girls! I imagine he'll be very popular as he grows up.

Travel Plans at Last!

2006-02-28T13:21:00.000-08:00

Nothing like a little stress to keep you awake at night. Things have been up-in-the-air until an hour or so ago. But we finally have a confirmed departure date of March 4th. We'll fly to Guangzhou via Detroit and Tokyo. By the time time we cross the int'l date line, it will be Sunday night when we land. We will meet Bing on Tuesday morning. That gives us a day to chill out before we meet him. Jet lag is sooooo bad!

Happy News x 2!

2006-02-23T13:15:00.000-08:00

Two things to sing praises about - First, looks like my mom will be able to travel with me to China! We didn't think she'd be able to get away, but she can! We're pushing the leave-time back a little so we can get her Chinese visa taken care of, but if all goes well, we'll leave on Sat. the 4th. I'll post the details once I know for sure.

The NEXT thing we're thrilled about is the grant we received from Rescue Me Ministries, Inc. We feel so blessed that Linda's ministry is continuing to help people even after she's gone! And we are especially glad that Bing can be the recipient of that help. The grant money will go toward our legal expenses in China. It won't be the same in China without Linda there, but I know she'll be with us in spirit. :) Linda was a gifted and award-winning song writer. I encourage all of you to get her CDs off the ministry website: www.rescuemeministries.org. Her husband Marshall is about to launch the newly updated website (since she died in August). But you can still order "Rescue Me" and "His Healing Touch" from there in the meantime. You'll truly be blessed by her music. (And in case you did not know, we're giving Bing Linda's maiden name as his middle name in her honor. He'll be Bing Carlson.)

Wish I could take so many of you with us: Lisa, Beth, Karla, Alex, Kim, just to name a few. But you can travel with us via this blog and never leave the comfort of your home. ;-)

The Bing-Meister

2006-02-21T10:42:00.000-08:00

Our family has had a running list of nicknames for Bing Bing: The Binger, The Bing-Meister, Bing-Man, etc, etc. But whatever nicknames WE call him, he's a cutie-pie!

We have our Travel Approval

2006-02-21T10:30:00.000-08:00

After 117 days of waiting (not counting all the paperchasing), we finally have our TA for Bing! I'm so thankful to God for working this all out. :) The travel agency is working on the arrangements, but if everything goes as planned, I may be out of here by next Thursday! I'll keep you posted.

Please say a prayer (or two or three) that things work out smoothly for this trip. I'm going solo (not even an agency group to hang out with this time). This ought to be interesting, to say the least! And please be in prayer for Rick and the kids as they are left behind to fend for themselves. Heaven help us!

Bing Bing, here I come!